


Hoarder

by lvtwilight09



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-06-22
Updated: 2012-07-30
Packaged: 2017-11-08 08:12:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 28
Words: 20,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/441086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lvtwilight09/pseuds/lvtwilight09
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
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    <a href="http://s1250.photobucket.com/albums/hh534/lvtwilight09_FF/?action=view&current=Hoarder1.jpg">
      <img/>
    </a>
  </p>
</div><p>I don't know if I'm a hoarder or not, but the house is ridiculous. There's stuff all over the floor. It's everywhere. There's no place to put anything, so it's hard to even begin to figure out how to put anything away...Edward desperately needs help. When professional organizer Bella Swan takes on the job, will Edward get more out of their relationship than just a clean house?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: So here we are again, with a new drabble-ish story. This time, I'd like for you all to meet Hoarderward. Pictures for this story will post to my blog. All items that Hoarderward says he purchases or has in his home are real, and I will be posting pictures of them with the chapters. There is no set schedule for this story yet, so please don't ask. I will let you know once I do what the schedule will be. To check out this chapter's pictures and the banner for the story, head on over to my blog: lvtwilight09fanfiction.blogspot.com

I'm so unbelievably frustrated right now. And overwhelmed. I don't know if I'm a hoarder or not, but the house is ridiculous.

There's the crap all over the floor. It's everywhere. There's no place to put anything, so it's hard to even begin to figure out how to put anything away. Every closet is full of crap, badly organized. I can't even tidy up for guests.

Then when I do take the time to clean up, it's a real project. And I figure it's okay to let it all go…just for a little bit. After all, I worked hard, fought through the anxiety and panic attacks that come at me over getting rid of things, I took the time to stack and store everything, I deserve a break right?

It's really bugging me, quite frankly, that I can't even have a relationship because of this since I can't bring a girl home without worrying whether or not she's going to laugh in my face or just go running for the hills. My family gave up trying to clean up for me ages ago when I would just bring everything back into the house that they tried to throw away, and my parents stopped coming over a while back after what became known as the "Slap Chop Attack." I couldn't sleep one night and was watching the damn infomercial for the blasted thing, and next thing I know I was calling and ordering…thirty of them…you know…just in case one broke or something. Well, I guess I stacked them too high in the hallway because when Mom bumped into them, she kind of got the ultimate slap chop…to the head as all the boxes tumbled over, burying her beneath them. She ended up with a concussion behind that and hasn't set foot in my house since.

I do go to work, and you'd never know my personal life was a mess from how pristine my office is. I think it's because I'm the CEO of my own company, and I have an image to maintain publicly. It bugs me though that I can't carry over that organization to my home. I just…I can't figure it out. I want a clean space to live in, so why can't I keep the house organized?

I'm losing my shit here. Something has to be done.


	2. Chapter 2

My brother came over today. He's really the only one who'll still dare to enter my house anymore…I guess he figures that he's tough enough to handle a slap chop attack should another one or something similar occur.

I don't know if it's because I was lonely or just plain bored, but I guess the house has gotten worse since he last came to visit.

He finally said it out loud…he said that I was a hoarder.

Well, if I'm truly honest, Emmett's exact words were "Edward, I gotta tell you, this looks like a Home Shopping Network, Target, As Seen On TV, craft store explosion. You need help dude, your hoarding is really getting out of control."

I tried to brush his comment off, tried to convince myself that I wasn't a hoarder; that I just liked to spend my money a bit freely. But after he left and I tried to make my way to the kitchen…I tripped over the stack of three dozen shamwow's I had purchased a month ago when I realized I couldn't find where my original order of a dozen went. My ankle was at a bit of an odd angle when I sat up, and I had to call Emmett to come back and help me get to the hospital.

After the doctor confirmed my broken ankle and sent me off to orthopedics to have it set and casted, Emmett came in to my room, with Mom and Dad with him.

They staged an intervention…told me they would cut me off from access to tv, internet, credit cards and phone unless it was work related until I agreed to get help.

Mom was convinced I was going to die in my home, crushed under a pile of Instahangs and Lint Lizards. I'm not sure how much the morphine had to do with my decision, but I did realize that Mom was right…the Shamwows almost did me in today, and I did not want my obituary to read "Edward Cullen died yesterday. He was found smothered under a pile of Sobakawa pillows."

So I agreed to get help.

Dad promised to use his connections to find me a good psychologist and a professional organizer.

By the time I was discharged from the hospital, he had the names for me, a psychologist named Dr. Alice Brandon and a professional organizer named Isabella Swan.


	3. Chapter 3

Since I couldn't go home to my own house because of the cast and crutches, I was going to be staying with Emmett for a few weeks until the doctor put me in a walking cast.

He gave me explicit warnings that I was not allowed to make purchases and have them delivered to his home while I stayed with him.

He never said anything about me having them delivered to my house though, so I readily agreed.

Since I wasn't going in to work for the first few days, Dad came over to visit, and I suspect make sure I called Dr. Brandon and Ms. Swan…which I hadn't done.

I won't lie, I was putting it off…it scared me to know I would have to bring these people…these complete strangers into my home.

As soon as Dad heard I hadn't made the phone calls, he put the business cards and my cell phone in front of me, and then sat to make sure I made the calls.

I talked with Dr. Brandon for about twenty minutes, and she seemed nice enough. I made an appointment to go to her office for an initial session later in the week.

Ms. Swan seemed nice too, and it made me feel a bit better to know that she specialized in cases like mine, where people had… _issues_ …with getting rid of things. She also told me to call her Bella, and not Ms. Swan.

She was familiar with Dr. Brandon, and had worked with her before. My first appointment with Bella wouldn't be for a week, since she wanted me to have at least one session with Dr. Brandon first before tackling actually getting rid of things.

Just the thought of having to throw or give away any of my things made my skin crawl, but Dad seemed proud of me for making the calls, so I guess that counts for something.

He left shortly after, and I immediately went to the tv and checked out the Home Shopping Network. My anxiety from just thinking about these upcoming appointments and what they would mean was through the roof, and I knew a quick shopping fix would calm me right down.

I flipped to the shopping network just in time for the daily special…a 14 piece set of Ginsu knives.

They were just calling to me, looking sparkly and shiny and new under the set lights.

Before I knew it I was calling the phone number to order.

After several rings I was connected with a representative, and when asked how many sets of the knives I wanted to purchase…I told her seven.

After giving over my credit card information for my purchase, which totaled a whopping $620, I hung up the phone, and while my anxiety was gone…the guilt was flooding in.

Maybe it wasn't such a bad thing after all that I made those phone calls after all.


	4. Chapter 4

Today has been…difficult.

It's my first appointment with Dr. Brandon.

I'm nervous to say the least…I don't know what to expect.

It took Emmett nearly half an hour to get me into the car and to Dr. Brandon's office.

It's not that I don't want to get better, I just…I guess I don't know really…it's just so damn hard.

Now that I'm finally in her office though, I'm glad I came. Dr. Brandon isn't what I expected at all.

She's a short little thing with quite a cheery disposition. She was also very warm, welcoming, and understanding when I told her how nervous I was.

We spent some time just talking so she could get to know me, get to understand what I wanted to get out of therapy.

"So Edward," she said. "Tell me what it is you're hoping to get out of coming here to see me."

"Well, um…" I replied. "I…I need to clean my house. I have a lot of things, and it's difficult for me to let any of them go. Emmett says I'm a hoarder. I dunno…maybe he's right. I broke my ankle tripping over my shamwows and…and I don't want to end up dead buried underneath a pile of Gyro Bowls and BeDazzlers."

"Okay, that's a good starting point," Dr. Brandon said, with no sound of judgment in her voice.

"That's it?" I questioned, surprised by her lack of commentary about my home's state of affairs. "You don't have anything else to say? No snide comments about me having a bunch of crap in my house?"

"Honestly Edward, no." she told me. "I want you to consider me a safe place. There will be no judgment here. You said you need to clean your home, that you can't do it yourself. I'm here to help you through that process, if you'll allow me to. And, hopefully, by the time we're done, we'll have figured out why you've been keeping your house the way you do and have given you the tools necessary so it doesn't end up like this again."

"I…I um, I like that. I think I can try to do this."

"That's good Edward, now, I want you to know that this will not be an easy process, it will be hard work and there will be times you'll want to give up. I understand you'll also be working with Bella to help with organizing. A lot of the time, she and I will be working with you together, and sometimes you'll work with us one on one."

"Okay," I answered, sounding a bit more confident. "I'm up for the challenge."

"Good," Dr. Brandon told me, a warm smile on her face. "For now, I'd like to see you twice a week. One day each week we'll meet here at my office. The other, we'll meet at your house and work there. Since we've met here this week already, let's plan on meeting at your home on Friday afternoon okay?"

"Um…uh…okay."

Crap. I didn't think she'd want to be at my house so quickly. She's so tiny. Maybe I should tell her to wear a GSP tracking device or a bell or something so she doesn't get lost amongst my Swivel Sweepers and Smart Mops.

"Edward."

"Huh?"

"It will be okay. I'm not going to judge you or your home. My only expectation is that you are open with me so that I can help you."

"Okay," I replied, feeling a bit more relieved, but making a mental note to keep a close eye on her when she is at my house.

After scheduling my next few appointments with the receptionist, Emmett and I left and went out to lunch. We talked for a bit, about Dr. Brandon and other inconsequential things, and for the first time, I feel like maybe I could actually change this time around.


	5. Chapter 5

Mom and Dad were happy to hear about my first session with Dr. Brandon.

Everyone was being really supportive, and they all agreed to help me with working to clear out my house.

Today though, was my first appointment with Dr. Brandon at my house. Emmett was there since I still kind of needed help getting around, and he helped me try to make sure I at least had clear pathways between all of the rooms and on the stairs.

He did nag me a bit about my Forever Lazy collection and all of the Snuggies I had. Personally, I just don't think he understood the convenience of comfortable pajamas that had a zip-close flap in the back for easy bathroom access. I'll have to remember to get him a few pairs for Christmas this year.

When Dr. Brandon arrived at the house, I think she was a bit taken aback by it. I don't think she realized exactly who I was when she took me on as a patient.

"Um, wow Edward," Dr. Brandon said, a look of shock on her face. "This is um, quite the house."

I couldn't help laughing at her reaction to that, or the way her eyes bugged out a bit when I explained that I was Edward Cullen, CEO of Cullen Technologies Inc.

"Oh, I mean…yeah, of course I've heard of your company. I just…I didn't make the connection between you and it," she explained.

"It's quite alright," I told her. "I actually preferred that you hadn't. I uh…a man in a position like mine…well, what I mean is…I don't exactly need something like this coming out in the open. It would just make for a lot of bad press."

"Edward, nothing that is said here between us will ever be known by anyone else unless you tell me it's okay. Our discussions are covered by doctor-patient confidentiality."

As much as I knew that, it was a comfort to hear, and so I led Dr. Brandon inside the house.

We stood in the small three by three foot area I had managed to clear out in the foyer, and watched her reaction as she looked around.

"Wow…um, I think we'll be working together for a while Edward," she said after taking in the areas of the house visible to her, all of which were filled with storage tubs stacked one upon the other, UPS boxes, and countess packages of things I had ordered on tv or had bought from places like Costco and Sam's Club.

"Yeah...like I said Doc…I need help getting my house clean, I just…I don't know where to start."

"This right here Edward, you asking for help…that is where we start, and tomorrow, when you have your first appointment with Bella. For now, let's take a look at the rest of your home."

The rest of our appointment was spent hobbling around the house checking out the other rooms, all of which were just as packed full of stuff as the foyer.

By the end of the day, I was exhausted from everything, and after heading back home with Emmett, I curled up with my snuggie, my phone and credit card, and turned the tv on to the Home Shopping Network again, the last thing I remember being my placing an order for 14 Soda Stream kits before drifting off to sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

If I wasn't nervous enough about meeting Bella today, my nerves tripled when she showed up to my house.

She was, for lack of a better word, beautiful.

She had an understated, shy quality to her, and a smile that made me instantly feel calmer.

Emmett snickered as I stuttered through introducing myself to her, but I couldn't help it, there was something about her that made me want to know more about her.

As soon as she suggested going inside though, reality came crashing down around me.

She was here because I had issues, not for a social call, and, with her specializing in people like me, there would never be a snowball's chance in hell that she would ever even give me a second glance, not when she knows what she'd be getting with me.

Like the day before with Dr. Brandon, she asked me to show her around, and Emmett being the ass that he is, had to make comments about everything he could, especially when we made it into the game room.

"Seriously Edward?" He asked.

"What Emmett? I have an issue with things, we know this already." I replied.

"Look dude, I get you buy a lot of this crap because it seems like you can use it. But you don't even have a dog…and I know you don't even like cats."

"What are you talking about Emmett?" I asked, confused about why he was bringing up my lack of pets. I did always want a dog or two, but really…how the hell would I ever be able to find them with my house looking like this?

"This Edward," he replied, pointing to the two stacks of boxes next to him. "I'm talking about your piles of Potty Patches and stacks of CitiKitty Cat Toilet Training Kits."

"Oh…those, yeah…I uh, I forgot about those. I think I bought them sometime last year."

"Okay Edward, I think I've seen enough. Why don't we have a seat and talk and work out a game plan?" Bella asked.

"Sure," I answered, thankful for her saving me from another of my brother's tangents about my buying unnecessary things.

We made our way, slowly and carefully to the den and all sat down on the couch.

"First things first," Bella began, her voice stern. "Emmett, no more ragging on your brother about his things or his hoarding. He knows he has a problem, he knows he needs help and he's asked for it. You picking on him for it won't help, it'll make things worse. I think it's great that you're here for Edward, but, if you keep making comments the way you have today then I'll ask you to not come back, are we clear?"

I tried not to laugh as my brother sat slack jawed staring at the woman who put him in his place. The only other people who have ever been able to do that were our mother and his fiancée Rosalie.

"Um, yeah. I…I uh, I'll stop."

"Good," Bella replied before smiling and turning her attention on me. "Now Edward, I am happy you asked for help, and I will do everything I can to help you reach your goal of clearing out your home. We'll work at your pace, one room at a time. We'll even break the rooms down into sections if you like. The only thing I need from you is communication. I need to know your thoughts as we do everything, okay?"

The way she spoke to me…it was so reassuring, made me feel at ease even though I wanted to scream from the anxiety creeping up inside me from the thoughts of having to get rid of all of my things.

"Okay…yeah, I…I think I can do this."

"No, Edward," Bella firmly told me. "Don't think you can do it, _know_ you can do it. Just think of it this way…one day at a time, one item at a time. Now, you said that you're meeting with Dr. Brandon twice a week, so the day you work with her here at the house, I will be here too. I'll also come by one day a week on my own to work with you as well."

"Okay, that sounds good."

Bella, Emmett and I talked for a while longer, discussing ideas for which room to tackle first and possibilities for what to do with all of the things I planned on getting rid of. In the end, we agreed to tackle the foyer first since it would be nice to be able to just walk into the house without stumbling over things, and we decided that I'd donate the things I could or bring them to one of those eBay stores for someone to sell for me, unless they absolutely needed to be thrown away.

A short while later, Bella left, giving me a quick hug before she did, telling me to think positive and that before I know it, I'd have a nice, clean, empty house.

The problem was though, for me, in the short time I had known this woman…I was already becoming attached. Maybe it was the fact that she saw the inside of my home, the visible manifestation of my issues, and didn't judge me for it and didn't go running for the hills, but I was already dreading the day that I would have to say goodbye to her and watch her walk out of my life.

That night, after dinner with Emmett and Rose, I headed off to my room, my emotions all over the place, despite my head telling me that I shouldn't get attached to Bella, she was a person I hired to help me get my house in order, nothing more than a professional relationship would or could come of it. I needed to get over the fantasy I was already starting to weave in my head before it spun out of control.

I needed to distract myself, and as much as I knew I shouldn't, I opened up my laptop to one of my many bookmarked shopping websites and placed an order…for 8 pairs of Sauna Pants. As soon as my confirmation email came through, I quickly shut my laptop off and settled in to bed, hoping that sleep would overtake me before the guilt over my latest purchase would.

It didn't.


	7. Chapter 7

This was the part I was dreading.

Dr. Brandon wanted me to start at the beginning…and by beginning, she meant that she wanted me to tell her about my childhood.

Personally, I wouldn't mind never thinking about that part of my life ever again.

So I sidestepped her and cut to the happier part of my youth.

"Well," I told her. "I was adopted by my parents when I was thirteen. Carlisle and Esme were great foster parents, and I was really happy when they told me they wanted to adopt me. It didn't take long for me to start calling them Mom and Dad after that. I did well in high school, and went on to college. After graduation I joined my dad in the family business, and well…here I am."

Dr. Brandon just looked at me, and I knew she wouldn't let me get away with pushing aside her question.

"Edward…you need to be open with me about everything. I'll let you slide on avoiding telling me about your childhood, but…we _will_ be addressing it next week. No excuses, understand?"

Next week…I could deal with next week…it would give me time to prepare for reopening all the old wounds.

"Okay," is all I offered as a response.

"Now, let's talk about your hoarding. I notice you never say you are a hoarder. You always say that you have 'issues.' You need to accept what you are Edward. Say it…own it…it will help you take control of the situation. Can I hear you say it Edward?"

"I…I'm…," I trail off with a sigh. This shouldn't be so hard, and Dr. Brandon is right. I need to own this and not let it have so much control over me. Taking a deep breath, I tried to say it one more time.

"I'm a hoarder," I managed to get out, my voice still a little shaky.

"That's good Edward, I'm proud of you. Hoarder is just a word. It only has as much power as you are willing to give it," Dr. Brandon told me.

I nodded in response, thinking over her words.

"How are you doing with your purchases lately? I'm not expecting you to just be able to stop, that would be unreasonable, but I do expect you to try to control how many times you buy things and the quantity of the things you buy."

Shit…she probably wouldn't be too pleased to know I purchased 19 Pasta Boats last night then.

"Um, it's been….difficult," I answered. "I have still been buying…a lot, but lately, I feel more and more guilty every time I buy something, which makes me feel bad and makes me want to buy more stuff. I just don't know how to stop."

Dr. Brandon nodded her head as I spoke, before addressing what I had said.

"What you said is very important Edward. You are making the connection between your emotions and your buying. It's an important thing to realize. What I'd like for you to do, is to really try to cut back on the buying…especially in bulk…no one really needs eleven Magic Bullets like I saw in your kitchen last week. But like I said, I don't expect you to stop buying things 'cold turkey' so to speak, but I would like you to keep track of what you do buy."

I guess Dr. Brandon could see the confused look on my face, because she continued to explain what she wanted me to do as she handed me a notebook.

"Every time you buy something Edward, I want you to write down the date and time along with what you bought. I also want you to write down why you bought that item, and what you are feeling or thinking about before, during, and after the purchase. This will help us identify your triggers and work out how to address them and give you the tools you need to handle them in other ways."

After a few more minutes, Dr. Brandon sent me on my way, reminding me she'd see me in two days for the first day of the clean out at my house.

The rest of the night, my anxiety was through the roof thinking of what was to come two days from now, and I couldn't help myself so I went online to the Ronco website. As soon as my purchase was made, I pulled out my notebook Dr. Brandon gave me and wrote my first entry…

_April 3rd, 11:47pm – bought 19 Popeil Electric Pasta Makers._

As I finished my entry in the notebook, I couldn't help but rationalize the purchase…I mean, I did just buy all those Pasta Boats…it was only logical to buy the pasta makers…I mean, how else would I get the pasta for the Pasta Boats?

Even to me my excuse seemed weak…I'd definitely need to talk this over with Dr. Brandon next time I saw her.


	8. Chapter 8

I'm surprised I didn't end up bald the way I kept tugging at my hair all day…it's a habit I picked up that comes out whenever I'm stressed.

Bella and Dr. Brandon came to the house today.

Bad enough I couldn't keep my eyes off of Bella…dressed in denim capris and a tank top…she looked too good for words with the way her pants hugged her hips…yeah, it was hard to focus.

But when she pulled the three big tubs out of her truck…that's when I really started freaking out.

Dr. Brandon worked with me on breathing techniques to try to help with my anxiety level. They helped a bit, although I still wasn't pleased about having to get rid of things.

Bella tried to be reassuring as she explained the process…each bin was for different things. One was for things I'd be keeping, one was for things I was donating or selling, and the third was for things I was going to be throwing away.

I was already hating this whole thing, but when Bella placed her hand on my arm, and told me she knew I could do this…it made me really want to try, not so much for myself, but because I didn't want to disappoint her.

The first thing we tackled was the six boxes I had stacked directly to the left of my front door. They'd been there for a few months already, and I couldn't remember what they had inside them. When we opened them up, they all had reams of printer paper in them…and that's when I remembered.

"Staples was having a good sale on paper a while back," I explained. "I uh…I thought it would be a good idea to stock up."

"Don't you think this was a bit excessive though Edward?" Dr. Brandon asked. "I mean, each ream of paper has 500 sheets, and each of these boxes has 20 reams of paper in it. That's…60,000 sheets of paper in total. Do you really need that much paper at home?"

When she made me look at it that way I could understand her question more…I mean…I didn't _really_ need that much paper, and it's not like I can't afford to buy more if I run out.

"Uh…um, well…I guess I don't need _that_ much paper when you do the math like that. Um…maybe…I'll keep half of one box and uh…I can bring the rest to work? I know they'll use it there."

"That's a good idea Edward," Bella replied. "Now…go on and sort the paper into the right bins."

I separated the paper I wanted to keep from the reams I was going to bring to work, and once they were all sorted, we broke the boxes down and put them in a pile for recycling. I couldn't help but smile a bit once I saw that small space open up in my foyer; it was like I had reclaimed a tiny little piece of my home.

The rest of the afternoon was spent slowly working our way through the left side of the foyer. We didn't get very far, only about half of the way through what we had set out to do, but we did manage something, despite my panic attack and my anxiety getting in the way. Both Bella and Dr. Brandon helped me to work through it each time. In the end, I had agreed to get rid of all of my Leaf Tacos since I had a hired landscaper who maintained the grounds, all of my Pops A Dents, all of my GoJo's, and all but one of my NuWave Digital Ovens because I really did want to see if it worked like the commercial said…I mean, who wouldn't want to keep something that could cook a piece of frozen meat to perfectly done in minutes flat? But when it came down to the final total…I managed to get rid of 182 individual items from my home…not a bad start if you ask me.

Before Bella left, she gave me another hug, telling me how proud she was of me for the progress we made, and reminded me that she would be back to work with me again on Monday. Dr. Brandon also told me how she was pleased with how well today went, and gave me another notebook and more homework…writing reflective journal entries about how I felt about each clean out session. She told me we would go over both of my notebooks during our sessions at her office each week.

That night, after dinner with my family and telling them how well the day went, I went to bed not feeling so anxious or stressed, even when I thought about everything that I went through as I did my journal entry. The anxiety was there, but…I tried Dr. Brandon's breathing techniques, and they helped, and for once…I went to bed without feeling any guilt.


	9. Chapter 9

I knew there was no avoiding it today…Dr. Brandon wanted me to talk more about when I was a kid. We had spent the first part of our session going over what was in my notebook, discussing my purchases and why I bought things. Apparently, I had a habit of buying stuff whenever I felt sad, lonely, depressed…basically any negative emotion.

Dr. Brandon said we would work out the source of my negative feelings and find healthier ways for me to deal with them.

Which led us back to the unfinished topic from last session…my childhood.

"Are you ready to talk about it now Edward?" Dr. Brandon asked. "You don't have to give me all the details now, but you do need to talk about it. It's clear by how you avoid it, that there is something in your childhood that is linked to your hoarding behavior. If you want me to help you, we need to sort through all of it, a little at a time."

I nodded my head, knowing she was right. I was tired of living the way I was. I was tired of knowing I would never be able to find a wife, have children of my own with the way my life was now…and just the thought of a wife and children conjured up images of Bella in my mind. How I would love to find someone like her…but right now…that was an impossibility.

"My parents…my _biological_ parents were named James and Victoria. James, from what I can remember, had a wandering eye and when I was five, left me and my mom for good. He was the only one with a job, and he barely made any money as it was, so when he left, Victoria really didn't have any money to support us. Eventually, my teachers noticed the dirty clothes I wore and the fact that I usually didn't bring a lunch to school and called CPS. They took me away from Victoria when I was eight. I stayed in foster care…in a group home until Mom and Dad took me in as a foster kid."

Dr. Brandon kept jotting down notes as I spoke, and I could feel my discomfort with talking about all of this starting to get out of control. I never really even spoke about everything with Mom and Dad, so to talk about it now was making my skin crawl. I could feel my credit card burning in my pocket, my fingers itching to dial some toll free number to make a purchase. God, I was so fucked…I couldn't even get through my therapy sessions without wanting to buy something else to add to my hoard.

"I uh…I don't want to talk about that anymore today…please," I said to Dr. Brandon, hoping she would let it go for now.

"That's fine Edward. Thank you for sharing all of that with me. I know it wasn't easy. We'll talk a little more about it next week okay?"

I nodded my head, grateful to not have to delve any further into my past today.

Dr. Brandon saw how on edge I was and walked me through my breathing exercises and relaxation techniques, before bringing our session to a close.

"I know today was difficult Edward, but you did really well, and I would really like you to try to not give in to the urge to buy anything new today okay? Keep using your relaxation techniques, and journal about your thoughts and what you are feeling. Call me if you need anything, no matter what time it is. I'll give you a call on Tuesday after your session with Bella to check on you okay?"

"Okay," I muttered, before leaving her office, hoping but not knowing if I could resist the urge.

I guess the hoping didn't do me all that much good, because as much as I tried, I couldn't resist. I tried to just sleep, tossing and turning for almost three and a half hours that night before finally giving in. In the end, I found myself going on a bit of a buying frenzy, ordering myself 3 sets of the Schticky, and 2 sets of the Love Your Lobes earring support system. I guess though, in a small way, it was still progress since I wasn't buying in such a large quantity as I usually would.

As instructed, I wrote about the purchases in my journal, and then finally, after feeling the anxiety start to fade, drifted off to sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

I think today was a breakthrough moment for me.

Bella was supposed to be coming over for the afternoon for our session, and when I got to my house, I saw that my Ginsu Knives and Soda Streams that I had ordered had arrived. Not thinking twice, I dragged the packages into my foyer, and placed them in the area that I had worked so hard to clear up just days before.

Immediately I started feeling claustrophobic, and a bit like a failure. I knew how much time and how hard I worked on that section of my home. I was proud of what I had accomplished that day, and to be totally honest…I didn't want to disappoint Bella and have her see that the space we worked on was already filled again. So I made my decision.

I glanced at the clock as I tore open the boxes, rifling through them for the packing slips. I found the part that was for returns, and after about twenty minutes, finally hunted down a pen and some packing tape, feeling genuinely shocked as to where I even found those two items. Why they were in the empty fireplace in my library, I'll never know. I hurriedly filled out all of the information I needed to on the return slips, and resealed the boxes, attaching the included return tag to the tops of them and called the local UPS store to arrange for a pick up for the items, thankful for the fact that the employee was able to catch the truck driver before he went out on his afternoon route, since he was able to get me added to it.

After hanging up with the UPS store, the anxiety started creeping in. A large part of my head was screaming for me to keep these things; that I needed them…that getting rid of them was the wrong thing to do. But I also knew that the life I had now…with my house the way it is…it's not really a life I'm happy to live, so I used my breathing techniques to calm myself down, and did the best I could with one good leg to shove the packages back outside my house.

Just as I was getting the last of the boxes out, Bella showed up. She saw me with the boxes, and I could see the nervous expression creep across her face as she walked towards me, her sorting bins in hand.

"Some new things you ordered?" she asked warily.

"Yes," I answered. "But, I'm moving them outside because UPS is picking them up since I'm returning them. They're supposed to come pick them up later this afternoon."

Bella smiled widely and genuinely once I told her UPS was coming to take the packages back, and that smile warmed my heart, and helped me feel like I had made the right choice.

After helping me move the boxes out of the way, we headed inside and discussed what my goal was for the day, which I told her was to get the entire left side of the foyer sorted.

I was feeling confident, and thought it would be a reasonable goal.

At first things went great. A lot of what I had wasn't even things I could use…like the sixteen Trendy Tops I had as well as the dozen Booty Belts, nine Bust UP cups, and eighteen pairs of Pajama Jeans. I mean…I'm not a girl, so I couldn't even figure out why I bought that stuff in the first place.

Bella and I chatted as we worked, and I got to know her a bit better. I loved finding out that we had similar tastes in books and movies, both of us agreeing that Grease 2 was by far better than Grease. We spent the next twenty minutes singing songs from the movie, albeit off key, as we worked.

Things got a bit more difficult though, once we were about two thirds of the way done with our work. That's when we got to some of the things that I really had a hard time letting go of. Like my two dozen sets of EzMoves…I tried explaining to Bella how they could be useful when it came to moving around some of the heavier items in the house. She thought two dozen was a bit excessive. It took half an hour of talking it out and a bit of yelling on my part, for me to agree to get rid of all but two sets. It was Bella's constant reminders of what my ultimate goal was for me to finally let the things go.

At the end of the day though, we did accomplish everything we set out to do, even though Bella stayed longer than we had originally scheduled, she told me she was happy to do it, and was proud of the progress I made…even when she had to talk me through my decisions because that was just a part of the process.

After hugging me goodbye, she left for the day, reminding me she'd see me during our next joint session with Dr. Brandon. I didn't want to let her go when she hugged me. As hard as I tried, I couldn't stop the attachment I was already forming with her, and her scent…when I hugged her, it completely enveloped me. She smelled of honeysuckle and vanilla and it was just so comforting.

Once she was gone, I waited until the UPS guy showed up and hauled the boxes away. After the packages were picked up, I walked into my house again to look around at the progress I had made, and my heart ached to have someone to share it with. It was the realization that I didn't…that outside of my family, I had no one to share my life with…that made me realize just how lonely I was, and just how much I wanted Bella to be the one who made me not feel that way anymore.

I tried to shake the thoughts from my head as I climbed into my car and headed back to Emmett's house for the night. My lonely thoughts were in my head again as I tried to find my way to sleep, and my fingers were itching to place an order for some other new thing that I really didn't need as I tried to ignore the infomercial playing on the tv. Without even realizing it, my cell phone was in my hand, my finger hovering and ready to dial. I didn't want to fall back into my old habits…I felt like I was finally breaking through the things that have been bogging me down.

My anxiety swelled as I dialed the numbers on the keypad, and I could feel myself starting to sweat as I heard the ringing on the other end.

Finally, the line connected and I heard the "Hello," come through the phone.

I took a deep breath before answering.

"Hi Dr. Brandon, its Edward…I'm having trouble dealing with my anxiety and feeling like I need to buy stuff tonight."


	11. Chapter 11

Calling Dr. Brandon the other night was more helpful than I thought it would be.

She stayed on the phone with me for over an hour, talking to me about what I was feeling and helping me work through it.

I'm glad I called her, because I'm fairly certain if I didn't, then I would now be the not so proud owner of at least six sets of the Stretch Genie…and really, who needs a spray to make your shoes bigger…you're better off just buying a pair that fits right in the first place.

Today was a productive day as well, Bella and Dr. Brandon were working with me on the house, and it was a good thing because despite feeling good about the progress I've made so far, I was feeling a bit antsy about working on sorting through things today.

When we first started, Bella and Dr. Brandon wanted to push me to get the remainder of the foyer cleared out, but I didn't want to, I just wanted to do half of what was left. I wasn't feeling like I was ready to let it all go.

Dr. Brandon wouldn't budge though, and made me really talk about why I was so resistant to working today.

"Because," I shouted. "It makes me feel vulnerable…like anyone could get in here now. Having all this stuff here…crowding the entryway…it made me feel protected, like no one could find me and hurt me."

"Are you afraid of intruders or burglars Edward?" Dr. Brandon questioned.

"No…I…I'm afraid of people ridiculing me, of making fun of me."

Dr. Brandon nodded her head knowingly, and I hated myself for making myself look so weak in front of Bella…now she would now just how horribly weak I really was, and it would ruin any chance, not that there was one to begin with, that I might have had to be with her.

"Does this have anything to do with what you experienced as a child?" Dr. Brandon asked me, not letting the subject go.

"Yes," I mumbled.

"Okay, we'll drop this for now, and address it more in our next session, but…we _are_ going to work on finishing this foyer today. You might feel uncomfortable and uneasy about it, but you need to feel that anxiety and learn to work through it."

"Dr. Brandon is right," Bella chimed in softly. "You need to push forward if you want to get this whole house done, and we can't do anything else until the foyer is cleared out. And you're not alone…you have me and Dr. Brandon here to help you."

She offered me a small smile, and between that smile and what she said…I wanted to prove to her that I could do it, so I agreed and we all got to work.

I almost wanted to die of embarrassment though when Bella laughed as she stumbled upon my Mighty Bites and Pocket Fishermans. Seeing my horrified expression though made her stop as she fumbled through an apology.

"Oh God! Edward…I'm so sorry. I swear I wasn't laughing at you, it's just…my father likes to fish, and he bought both of these things. Neither worked and he wrote very strongly worded letters to the manufacturers. He was so grumpy the day he tried them when he went out on the river with his friends and he was the only one who didn't catch anything. I just thought of how funny he looked because he pouted that whole night."

I felt a bit more at ease when she explained herself, and used it as a way to get to know more about her, asking her more about her dad and her family life. I found out she had a much younger 10 year old brother named Riley who was, as she put it, a whoopsie-daisy baby for her parents, and how she was growing more and more tired of her mother's harassing her to settle down, find a decent man, and give her grandbabies already.

I was quite pleased about the last part, and in the midst of that small bit of happy news, I went on a purging spree, getting rid of all of the Mighty Bites and the Pocket Fishermans, as well as all of my Head Wedgies, Instant Zippers, and all four dozen cans of Flex Seal that I ordered, because let's face it…who really needs rubber in a can in the first place.

By the time I got rid of all that stuff, there wasn't much left to go through to get the foyer finished, and I found myself a bit more eager to get it done.

Two hours later, we managed to power through it all and for the first time in three and a half years I was able to see the entire entry to my home from floor to ceiling. The sense of accomplishment I felt was amazing, and Dr. Brandon talked to me about it, asking me to journal about it so that when I was having a more difficult day, I could go back and read about my accomplishment and remind myself of why I was doing this in the first place.

Mom, Dad, and Emmett showed up a few minutes later as Bella and Dr. Brandon were leaving to pick me up for our weekly family dinner, and I couldn't help be feel excited over their reactions to the cleared space. They told me how proud they were of me, and all offered to come over more to help me with working on the rest of the house and even asked if I would want them to sit in on some of my sessions with Dr. Brandon. The fact that they were so proud of me, and so willing to do anything to help…made me feel not so alone and I knew with certainty, that I would have no worries about shopping sprees tonight.


	12. Chapter 12

I'm a sexual deviant.

I have to be…otherwise I never would have done what I did.

The day the foyer got cleared out, I was fine. Or at least I thought I was. Maybe I was just riding the high of everyone being so happy and supportive of me.

The day after I even did more returns for some of my more recent purchases. Emmett and Dad were more than happy to help me get the stuff over to the UPS store.

But when I crashed…I crashed hard, and I started feeling that familiar need to go and order something. I was fighting the urge the best I could. I knew I could have called Dr. Brandon, but I wanted to try to work through it on my own. I kept thinking of how happy Bella was for me when the foyer got finished…that smile on her face, and the way she felt against me as she hugged me. And that's when _it_ came on. That goddamn infomercial from hell.

The Shake Weight infomercial played, putting ungentlemanly thoughts in my head. My mind started playing tricks on me and I swore I thought Bella was in the room as I remembered her honeysuckle and vanilla scent. Before I knew it, I was imagining it was her in the infomercial, and that it wasn't a weight she was holding.

By the time the damn infomercial ended I was hard as steel, and I just couldn't help myself. I grabbed my laptop and pulled up YouTube faster than I ever thought I could move. I pulled up the Shake Weight infomercial and hit play with one hand as I used the other to yank my pajama pants down below my hips.

I gripped myself firmly as I watched the video playing on the screen, stroking myself faster and harder as I imagined the girl in the commercial was Bella, and that she was jerking me off instead of playing with some stupid weight. The video ended and I hit play again, watching and grunting as I abused my now leaking cock, driving myself closer to release. As the girl in the commercial continued to talk as she used the weight, I not only imagined that it was Bella playing with my cock, but I started to imagine her voice as well, saying dirty, naughty things to me as she fondled me, and with a final groan, Bella's name flew from my lips as the evidence of my orgasm pooled on my chest.

I laid my head back, trying to catch my breath, the words "Call now or go to our website to order," piped through the speakers of my computer. That's when I realized what I had done…and just how perverted I must be. Especially since I then proceeded to order three dozen shake weights, and even paid for expedited shipping so they would get delivered by the end of the week.

I tried telling myself it was a one time thing, but it hasn't been…every time that damn commercial has come on the tv, it has sent me running to the bathroom with a raging boner like I'm some thirteen year old pubescent boy.

I don't know how I'm going to look Bella in the eye again. I "m definitely going to have to figure some way to get this under control, because as much as I know Dr. Brandon is there to help me…it'll be a cold day in hell before I ask her for help on this issue.


	13. Chapter 13

I don't think Dr. Brandon was happy with me today.

I was quite resistant during our session.

But then again, what did she expect when she was asking about James and Victoria.

"Edward," she huffed at me. "You have to talk about them sooner or later. Until you do we can't move on, and you won't make progress towards getting better."

We sat for a good ten minutes just staring at each other until I finally broke down and agreed to talk.

"Fine," I sighed, already feeling my palms getting sweaty. "What do you want to know?"

"Let's start with your biological father. Tell me what you remember about him."

"James was…he was distant. I don't think he liked me very much, or ever even wanted me. He and Victoria were young, fresh out of high school when they had me. I don't ever remember him saying 'I love you' or being affectionate. He always referred to me as 'the boy' or 'the kid' when he talked to Victoria about me, and he rarely, if ever actually spoke to me. He drank and smoked a lot, and I remember him and Victoria always fighting about either there never being enough money to pay the bills, James' inability to keep a steady job, or his always sleeping around with other women."

I stopped for a moment and took a deep breath before beginning to talk again.

"Eventually he got tired of Victoria yelling and nagging all the time and left. It was the one time I can clearly remember him talking to me. I was five, and he was supposed to be watching me while Victoria was working her shift at the dry cleaners. He packed up a bag and right before he left he told me 'Don't ever let a woman go and trap you the way your mom did me with you. It was the biggest mistake of my life,' and then he walked out the door. Victoria came home late that night after having worked a double shift to find me crying and hungry, sitting on the kitchen floor. We never saw or heard from James again."

Dr. Brandon spent the next few minutes trying to get me to calm down. Talking about all of that was even harder than I thought it would be, and by the time I had finished I was a sobbing mess.

She tried to get me to talk a bit more, to tell her about how James' leaving made me feel, how I thought it affected me.

I couldn't do it. I felt so exposed and raw already…and now she was bringing up all the memories of the way the kids taunted me at school because I was the kid with no dad. I couldn't handle bringing that up now and I just…I snapped.

"When is it ever enough for you," I shouted at her as I got up and started pacing around the room the best I could while on crutches. "Do you get some sort of sick enjoyment out of ripping every painful thing out of me…of watching me relive it all? When will what I say ever be good enough so you'll just leave well enough alone?"

The whole time she tried to calm me down, to get me to sit and relax and breathe. I didn't want to hear any of it. I was so tired of listening, of talking, of rationalizing. I just wanted it all over and done with.

"I can't do this anymore," I yelled at her as I headed towards the door.

"Edward, please…let's just calm down and talk this out," Dr. Brandon pleaded, but I was through listening.

I hobbled toward the door and before I could even stop them, the words were flying out of my mouth.

"FUCK THIS SHIT!" I screamed at her before making my way out of her office. The few people in her waiting room stared at me, but I just couldn't care less.

I made my way out of the building and into my car and headed back to my house. I was still staying with Emmett for another week until the doctor would change me over to a walking cast, but I needed some time alone first. Once inside my house, I looked around the foyer, seeing it clean and empty only reminded me of just how empty my own life was, and I let out an animalistic yell of frustration that echoed off the walls.

I needed a distraction, and no matter how much the little voice in the back of my brain was telling me I was going to regret it later, I pulled my laptop out of my messenger bag, powered it on, and logged in to several of my preferred shopping sites. When all was said and done, I was the proud owner of countless new items including Ab Rockets, Bender Balls, Forearm Forklifts, and God only knows what else. All I knew for sure was that my total spending for the day was somewhere around $8,000.

The only other thing I knew for sure was that I acted like an ass and would need to try to fix things with Dr. Brandon as soon as possible.


	14. Chapter 14

The day after my blowout I called Dr. Brandon up to apologize.

She was really good about it and offered to see me that afternoon.

We talked a lot, about why I blew up the way I did, and discussed how I reacted to it by buying thousands of dollars' worth of stuff, she also explained why she pushed me to keep talking.

"It's like when we pushed through your discomfort to finish clearing out your foyer Edward," she told me. "You didn't really want to do it, but it needed to be done. You needed to learn how to handle feeling the emotions that you don't like dealing with. It's the same with talking about your past. It's uncomfortable for you and doesn't make you feel good, but you've pushed it away for so long, and you need to talk about it and deal with it so that you can move forward with your life. I'm not going to stop pushing you Edward, not when I feel like in the long run it is too your benefit. But…you need to not run away. I won't be upset if you yell or scream at me. But I can't help you if you just run away instead of working through it."

I nodded my head, thinking over what Dr. Brandon said, and she was right. I always avoided my past like it was the plague. I liked to believe that my life just started for me when I was thirteen and Mom and Dad took me in. Clearly that wasn't helping me though…just look at my house if you wanted proof. I needed to start dealing with this stuff.

"I uh..I promise to try harder," I replied. "I really do want to get better."

"That's good to hear Edward," Dr. Brandon replied with a soft smile. "Now, we talked about James yesterday. What do you say we talk about Victoria today?"

Taking a deep breath, I try to calm myself down a bit before finally starting to talk.

"Victoria tried to be a good mom. At least while James was around. She worked hard to try to make enough money so there would be food to eat, a place to live, and clothes for me to wear. She tried to do things with me when she got a day off. I can remember her pushing me on the swings at the park and her laughter when we used to color together. She changed though once James left. I think she had some idea that we were one big happy family. She blamed me…not that she ever said it to my face, but I overheard her one night talking to her friend."

My anxiety was getting the better of me as the conversation came floating back into the forefront of my mind, but I did my best to get it back under control before continuing to talk.

"She told her friends how if it wasn't for 'that stupid kid' that she and James would have still been together. Once he left, Victoria slowly stopped spending time with me. She would leave me home alone a lot and we never went to the park anymore. She worked all the time, but there never seemed to be enough money. I'd go to school with shoes with holes in them and dirty clothes because we couldn't afford to go to the laundromat. Food wasn't a regular occurance in our house either. Sometimes there would be three or four days a week where she couldn't give me food. Eventually, the landlord evicted us since we couldn't pay the rent, and we started staying in the garage of one of Victoria's friends. Some nights she would have guys come and visit, and those were nights she'd make me sleep in the car that was in the garage. I would still hear the sounds they made though, and I never understood what they were until I got older. We'd always have money for food and stuff after those guys came to visit. It wasn't long after that though that CPS took me away. Victoria never even put up a fight. The last thing I remember her saying was 'Good, he can be someone else's problem now…he's already fucked my life up enough as it is.'"

After I finished talking, I just sat there, crying and staring at the floor with my arms wrapped around myself as if I was trying to keep myself from falling apart. The truth of the matter is…I was. I really felt like I was ready to fall to pieces.

"Edward," Dr. Brandon called out gently. "Thank you for sharing all of that. Next time we meet one on one, we'll talk more about James and Victoria, and how they play into your hoarding behavior, okay?"

I nodded in response as I sniffled and began to calm down.

"Also," Dr. Brandon said, "I know you've stirred up a lot of negative emotions these past two days. What I want you to do is start to work on really opening up with the rest of your family. I know you like to buy to help deal with your feelings, but I want you to try to share what you're feeling with your family instead, even if it's just one member at a time. But I'd like you to start doing that when you begin to feel the need to buy things, okay?"

"Okay," I answered, my voice rough.

"Good, I'll see you in a few days when you, Bella, and I are all working together again."

I left Dr. Brandon's office after that, and made my way over to my parents house where we were having a family dinner. My emotions were all over the place, and I really just wanted to heat straight over to target and buy out the store. It took everything in me to just drive straight to Mom and Dad's.

As we ate, I couldn't shake the way I was feeling as I pushed my food around. Eventually it got to be too much, and I decided to try what Dr. Brandon suggested.

As Mom cleared the dishes away, I cleared my throat and finally brought up the one thing I never had really spoken to my family about before.

"Mom, Dad…I'd like to tell you guys and Emmett about when I was a little kid…"


	15. Chapter 15

Talking to my family about my past was hard.

I had never really opened up about that stuff before, and while I didn't tell them everything, I did discuss with them the things I had already spoke with Dr. Brandon about.

Mom and Dad only knew what my file from CPS had in it, and Mom took it especially hard when I spoke to her about what it was like for me before I got taken away from Victoria.

Dad was grateful that I finally opened up, and told me he'd always be here to listen any time I wanted to talk.

Emmett didn't say much, but his expression told me that if he ever found James or Victoria, that they would probably not be walking away from the meeting.

All three of them seemed to understand more why I hoarded, and were all more willing than ever to help with the clean out, which is why they were all there to help today during my session with Bella.

I was a bit torn about it, having hoped to have the time alone with her so I could try to get to know more about her, but at the same time, after all of the Shake Weight fantasies, I was a bit thankful for the buffer.

Since the foyer was all cleared out, we decided the next area we should focus on should be the kitchen. We started with the hallway that connected the foyer to it and then worked on the kitchen itself. My goal was to get the kitchen totally cleared in two sessions. Bella helped me make a plan for how to sort everything out too, since she knew my affinity for having multiples of everything. We decided on keeping one of each item we came across and all the others we would get rid of, then I could sort through the keep pile and decide if the things were really worth saving or if I'd be better off getting rid of them.

Having my family there turned out to be better than I thought it would be. Having them there really helped me feel like I mattered to them, that they cared about me and my happiness. I mean, I always knew they loved me, and that they cared…but it was still a hard thing to understand with how my early years were, so seeing them so invested in helping me…it finally helped connect what I knew in my mind and what I was feeling in my heart.

The other bonus was seeing everyone interact with Bella, and get to know her. Emmett kept making her laugh with his jokes, and I didn't want him to stop because I loved hearing her laugh, even though I did feel a small pang of jealousy that it wasn't me making her laugh. She also chatted with Mom and Dad as we worked, telling them a bit about her childhood, and her schooling. It gave me a lot more information about her…like the fact that she was a sorority girl in college, and that she attended a smaller school on the east coast. She double majored in psychology and sociology, and though she had earned her Master's degree in psychology, she found her true joy in the work she did now.

She told us how she figured out what she wanted to do during her work on her Master's thesis. She had an aunt who had been a hoarder, and chose that as the focus of her work. In her case study, she worked with a woman to help her organize and clear out her hoard, and that's when she realized the way she wanted to help people, and that it was just a greatly added bonus that she had the tools to fully understand the psychology behind the disorder that her clients had.

Hearing her speak about her past, how she found what she wanted to do with her life…made me fall all the harder for her. It just showed me that much more what a genuinely good, caring person she was. I knew I was slowly losing myself to my attraction for her, and that I needed to get this under control fast, even though I found myself living in a fantasy world by the end of the afternoon when she hugged me and gave me a smile as she told me how proud she was of me for the work we got done today.

Looking around after she said that was the first time I realized just how much had gotten done. The entire hallway to the kitchen was cleared, and one whole side of the kitchen itself was cleared out as well. In the end, I got rid of practically everything I had stored in there. I think Mom was particularly happy to see all the Slap Chops go, considering the fact that she kept giving the pile of them the evil eye and she was a bit…rough shall we say as she threw them all in the give away pile. I think I still might buy her one for Christmas as a gag gift.

Also, as I realized something as I looked at the things I was getting rid of. Looking at the piles of Slushy Magics, Perfect Meatloafs, and 'Ove' Gloves…I realized just how much that I didn't need those things, even if I did decide to keep one of my Xpress Redi Set Go's and one of my Perfect Tortilla's because I thought they were both pretty cool…I was starting to realize how I didn't want to fill my life with things. I wanted to actually be able to live it, enjoy it, and fill it with happy memories.


	16. Chapter 16

After we finished working on my kitchen, Mom and Dad suggested we all go out to dinner.

Once we got to the restaurant and were seated, Mom didn't waste a second.

"So Edward, how long have you had a thing for Bella, and what do you plan on doing about it?" she asked me.

"Wh-What?" I sputtered out as I choked on my water. Emmett laughed, but my glare shut him up.

"You heard me perfectly well Edward," Mom told me. "And don't play it off as if I'm imagining things. Your house may have given me a concussion at one point, but it didn't make me blind or stupid. I saw how you looked at her…how you were hanging on her every word as she told us about herself. So…when are you going to ask the girl out?"

"I…I uh…" I began. I looked pleadingly at my father to see if he would save me from this one. I knew not to bother to seek help from Emmett…he saw my initial reaction to Bella the first day I met her, he would just toss me to the wolves on this one.

"Well…" my mother asked expectantly.

"I…I can't stop thinking about her. She's beautiful, she's funny, she's kind and smart. I just…I don't think she'd be interested in someone like me."

"What do you mean someone like you?" Emmett asked.

"I mean…well…you heard her. She knows the psychology behind hoarding. Do you really think she wants to be with someone who she knows is fucked in the head?"

"Son," Dad began. "You are not as you so eloquently put it 'fucked in the head'. You had some traumatic things happen to you. You reacted in a certain way, and now you are getting help to cope with them in a healthy manner. You are a successful, smart young man, and I think she's more interested in you than you know. You didn't see the way she looks at you when she thinks you're not paying attention."

"It would never work Dad. I'm a client of hers. It's a clear conflict of interest," I explained away.

"Edward…" Mom started to say.

"No Mom…please…just...yes I like her a lot, but I know there isn't a possibility and I am dealing with enough emotional stuff as it is. I'm better off not getting my hopes up over something that can never be," I told her.

"Fine Edward," Mom said with a sigh. "Just…just promise me that you shut yourself off to possibilities. I want you to be happy son, and she's been good for you. Every time you've seen her you smile for days afterward. I think you two could be happy together if you just gave it a chance…and I'm not talking marriage and grandbabies here, just think about asking her out on a date."

Just then the waitress came to take our orders, saving me from having to respond to what my mother said.

The rest of dinner was fun, and I had a good time just spending the evening with my family.

I crawled into bed that night excited, knowing that the next day I'd be off the damn crutches and fitted with a walking cast, but as I drifted off to sleep Dad's words about how Bella would look at me floated into my mind and I fell asleep only to dream of a future with a certain brunette.


	17. Chapter 17

It was great not having to use crutches anymore. I still had to wear the stupid walking cast, but it was a hell of a lot better than crutches any day. Besides, I only had a few more weeks before I would be able to get the cast removed all together.

Today started off good. Bella and Dr. Brandon were coming over to work with me on the remainder of the kitchen. In the morning, I had sent back more of the things I had ordered in the past few weeks, and then spent a bit of time just enjoying my new mobility, especially since now I'd be moving back into my house and not having to stay with Emmett anymore.

When Dr. Brandon showed up, I talked to her about some of the things I had realized the day my parents were here helping me. We talked about how I was really making connections between the things I wanted out of life and what I had to do to make them happen. We discussed where my anxiety levels have been when getting rid of things and how I was coping, and Dr. Brandon said she was happy with the progress I've had, but also gently reminded me that we still had more work to do to work through all of the issues surrounding my hoarding.

Once Bella arrived, the three of us got to work, and cleared out the rest of the kitchen by the time our session ended. It's what Bella said to me as she left that gave me a reality check that before I even knew it, she would be gone from my life.

"You're doing so well Edward," she told me as she hugged me. "Keep it up and we'll have this house cleared in no time, and you won't need me anymore."

There was a sad smile on her face as she spoke, which really made me reconsider what my father had said to me…that maybe…just maybe there was a hint of interest there on Bella's part as well. All I knew was that I didn't like the idea of her not being around one bit. I needed to sort everything out, and try to figure out what to do next. I just needed more time, so I started doing the only thing I could think of.

After Bella and Dr. Brandon left for the day, I frantically pulled out my laptop and started ordering everything I could think of…Twist 'N Clips, PediSpins, Furniture Fixes, Hot Booties…even Zestra despite my lack of having a vagina. I ordered everything I laid my eyes on so I could find ways to keep parts of my house stuffed until I could figure out a plan about what to do as far as what I felt for Bella. I just hoped I could figure it all out before I ran out of stuff to buy.


	18. Chapter 18

I knew today was going to be a tough session with Dr. Brandon.

She had told me last time that she wanted to talk about what my childhood was like outside of James and Victoria…what school was like, what it was like at the group home.

I just hated reliving these memories. They haunted me enough already as it was.

"So Edward," Dr. Brandon began. "Whenever you're ready, why don't you tell me a bit more about what your childhood was like."

I took a sip of water from the bottle I was holding, and settled myself on the couch as I reminded myself that this was necessary…I needed to do this if I wanted to get better.

"Kids can be cruel," I said. "The other parents and the kids at school all knew I was the poor kid. They made fun of me for it, always teasing me because I never really had toys or nice clothes or anything. Parents wouldn't let anyone play over at my house because we didn't live in the best area of town. I was very alone as a child, and made to feel like I wasn't worth much because of the fact that my family was poor. Things didn't change much in the group home. We all had enough of our own issues, so for the most part we all kept to ourselves, and we all kept close guard over whatever few belongings we each had because it wasn't uncommon for things to get stolen. When Mom and Dad took me in, it was like everything changed overnight. It took a while to adjust, but I'll never be able to explain to them how thankful I am that they wanted me…that they chose me…that they wanted to keep me and make me theirs."

Dr. Brandon scribbled some notes down as I finished talking, before she addressed me.

"You've brought up a lot of important points today Edward," she told me. "The way everyone treated you, the way you were picked on for being poor and not having anything…how do you think those have affected you now? Do you think your hoarding is related to that at all?"

I sat quietly for a while, not wanting to accept the fact that Dr. Brandon could have figured out why I liked having so many things.

"I…I just…" I trailed off.

"It's okay Edward, take your time."

"Having things…having lots of things…I feel safe when I have them. Like people won't be able to pick on me anymore…they can't make fun of me for not having anything because I can have anything I want now."

"But you're a very successful man Edward. Do you really think you need those things for people to see that about you? Or are you letting your past control how you are living your life now? I want you to think about that Edward, and we'll talk more about it next time."

I thought about what Dr. Brandon was asking the rest of the day. She raised a good point. I was successful. I had more money than I knew what to do with, and even donated portions of it to charity each year. I _was_ living in the past. I just needed to figure out how to get out of the grip it had me in so I could try to enjoy the life I had now.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As many of you have probably heard, a member of the Twilight fandom passed away today at ComicCon. There has been a fandom event which has been organized to help her family with funeral costs. I have signed up to donate a Bella POV outtake from Hoarder to the cause. Please consider donating. As little as $5 will get you a copy of the compilation that will be sent out as a thank you and there is already a long list of amazing authors who will be writing. To find out how you can help, please check out the blog: fandom4twifang.blogspot.com

All the stuff I had ordered during my last buying frenzy arrived today. I managed to hoist it all up the stairs and stuff it inside one of the bathrooms that wasn't completely full yet. Just in time too, about ten minutes later, Bella showed up for our session today.

We decided we'd work on completely clearing the staircase so it would be easier for me to move up and down. Between the things I was starting to realize through my sessions with Dr. Brandon, and desperately wanting to make Bella proud, I went on a purge, telling Bella to get rid of everything as we came across it.

It was a little awkward and embarrassing though when she opened up a few boxes and found bottles and bottles of Enzyte in them. I didn't actually need the product, but I couldn't help but order it one night anyway. I tried to explain having the stuff by saying I had bought it as a gag gift for Emmett one year and just was never able to find it. Bella cracked up laughing when I explained it that way, and I couldn't help but notice that she seemed a bit more relaxed when I told her I had bought it as a joke, and not for my own personal use.

That reaction was enough to make me wonder if what my dad had said about Bella being attracted to me was true. I'd still need to do some more investigation on that front though.

As the afternoon wore on, Bella and I started talking about a bunch of different things, and at one point I got lost in a Bella induced haze as I watched her putter about sorting through the boxes as she hummed a Rihanna song and swayed her hips to the beat. My mind started going naughty places and the damn shake weight fantasy started playing in my head. It took everything in me to get my dick to deflate…eventually, thinking about Dad using a Pos-T-Vac did the job, which only reminded me that I needed to find where I had stored my order of those before Bella did, after the Enzyte discovery today, she would no doubt start thinking I really was a sexual deviant or something and probably go running for the hills.

It was nice though at the end of the session to be able to see my whole staircase again, and not have to worry about taking a neck breaking fall down it anymore. As usual, Bella gave me a hug and a smile before she left, and once I heard the door closed behind her, I sighed and slid down the wall to sit on the floor as I realized just how hard I had fallen for her. I was definitely going to have to figure out something to do soon.


	20. Chapter 20

Mothers are a godsend.

At least mine is…she confronted me again today about what my plans are with Bella. Not that she has let up on her pestering since that night at dinner…she's just softened her approach.

She kept asking me what I was planning and when I was going to make a move.

It didn't help when I saw that she had a shake weight sitting in the corner of the room by her other exercise equipment. It also didn't help when she saw me staring at it.

"Why are you staring at my shake weight Edward?" she asked.

I felt so uncomfortably awkward in this moment, knowing how I thought about Bella when I saw the commercial for that cursed weight…and now to think of my mom using it…yeah, totally killed my little Bella jack off fantasy I've been having.

"Oh, no reason, I just didn't realize you had one."

"Well, Emmett got one for Rose a while back, she said it did wonders for toning her arms…Emmett seems to like watching her use it though I don't know why. You're father likes when I use mine too. Silly man is so sweet…says the nicest things about me when he sees me use it…"

Ugh…so gross. Too much information all around if you ask me. At least now I didn't feel like such a sex freak about my fantasy.

"Anyway," mom said, snapping me out of my thoughts. "You need to do something to catch Bella's attention. I'm not trying to force you here Edward, I just know that you genuinely like this girl, and I'd hate to see you just miss the chance at something that could be special because of your insecurities. You're a wonderful son Edward, a wonderful man whom I couldn't be more proud of. I love you and just want you to find the happiness that I have with your father."

Mom's words meant more to me than I could ever tell her.

After a few minutes, she came up with a plan, for me to at least get Bella to spend time with me outside of our sessions.

"Why don't you have her over for dinner," Mom suggested. "Nothing fancy…just…you let me know what time your next session with her is supposed to end, and I'll have a pizza delivered to your house a few minutes before. You could just ask if she'd like to stay for dinner since the whole pizza is too much for just you. It's a way to spend time with her without her making you think you want a date, and a good way for you to build your confidence so you can ask her out on a real date."

I tried to find a flaw in Mom's plan, some way to point out a way it wouldn't work, but I couldn't, especially when she decided to play dirty and pulled the slap chop card again saying I owed it to her because of my attacking kitchen utensils.

In the end I agreed, and let Mom know the date and times for my next one on one session with Bella, and hoped that maybe, just maybe, things would work out and go according to plan.


	21. Chapter 21

Working with Dr. Brandon and Bella today was exhausting.

We needed to decide the next area to clean out and I had wanted to work on my bedroom and bathroom since I thought it would be nice to no longer have to worry about things toppling over and crushing me in my sleep.

Dr. Brandon was fine with my suggestion, wanting me to work in the area I was most comfortable, but Bella had a different idea.

She said it would be wisest to work on all of the walkways, staircases and hallways before tackling any other rooms because until the hallways were cleared, it would be too hard to get stuff out of the rooms. Her idea made sense, especially since I was realizing how much easier it was going up the main staircase now that we had cleared it out, so I agreed.

We started with the first floor hallways, and it made me realize just how large my house is…and the more that was cleared out…just how empty it and my life was too. That realization sent a myriad of thoughts swirling through my head…things I knew I would need to talk to Dr. Brandon about, but I tucked them away for our one on one next week, too ashamed to talk about them in front of Bella.

Things were going well, we managed to get rid of lots of things in the first floor hallways, including all of my Booty Slides and Blaster Brushes, although I did keep one Blaster Brush for future cleaning needs. It was when we got to the hallway near the garage that Dr. Brandon really made me open up a bit. The four feet of hallway in front of the garage door were filled floor to ceiling with Pocket Chairs. I lost count after 162 when I was trying to figure out how many I had exactly.

Dr. Brandon talked to me about why I had so many, what made me feel like I needed them. I explained how I had been having a really shitty day when I bought them, and how I hated having no one to go home to who would be able to comfort me or make me feel better. I had my computer on and bought lord only knows how many of those stupid chairs, but when the order arrived I had ended up with double what I ordered because I hadn't realized the website was doing a buy one get one free sale at the time. I didn't know what else to do with them, and I had still had space down this hallway at the time so I just stacked them all here.

We talked about my emotions associated with my need to buy things, and reviewed what I'm doing now when I feel like that. I even made a joke about never needing to worry about having a place to sit which earned me a playful glare from both Bella and Dr. Brandon. In the end though, I decided to keep a set of four of the chairs since I did sometimes go to sports games with Mom, Dad, and Emmett and we would tailgate when we'd go.

Bella was pleased with my decision, and told me she was proud that I was making progress and thinking rationally about the need for and use of the items I wanted to keep. Her smile made me anxious for our next one on one so I could attempt the pizza dinner non-date idea Mom had suggested.

As the afternoon wound down, and we finished what we set out to do for the day, Bella gave me my usual hug goodbye, and Dr. Brandon asked to speak to me for a moment before she left for the day as well.

"You're doing very well Edward," she told me. "I've seen a lot of progress with you these past few weeks, and if you keep up the hard work, I think you'll be just fine."

Her words made me happy, my biggest fear in all of this was getting the house completely cleaned out only to fall back into old habits and fill it up again.

"Now," she said. "I want to talk to you about our sessions. Like I said, you are doing very well. Your thought processes are much better than they were when we first started, and you are, like Bella said, starting to really think about why you are keeping things. Which is why I'm going to reduce our sessions to our once a week at my office, and I'll come here to your house once every other week to see your progress. You'll still work with Bella twice a week, but both days will be just you and her from now on. Are you okay with that Edward?"

Was she kidding me? Of course I was okay with that…it meant more time alone with Bella. I wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth.

"Um, yes," I replied. "I think that will work fine."

"Good," she answered with a smile. "And remember, any time you need me, you can call me. I'm always here for you Edward."

After that, she left for the day, and I left to drift off and ponder the possibilities that could come from having two days alone with Bella each week.


	22. Chapter 22

Gotta love it when your mom's idea works out.

Today was a one on one session with Bella and I was going to attempt the whole pizza non-date thing.

We worked hard, clearing out the remainder of the hallways on the first floor. We even made jokes about the stuff I had as we went. I was having a great time hearing Bella's laughter, so as I made a big scene of strutting around in one of the pairs of Aqua Shorts and a pair of Miracle Socks. Bella cracked up at seeing me like that, so for good measure I added in one of the Men's Body Shapers and a pair of HD Vision Ultra Sunglasses too.

I was having more fun than I had in a while, and so I even started doing the "jump on it" dance that Will Smith did in Fresh Prince of Bel Air when Emmett's ringtone started playing, which no doubt looked all the more hilarious with my Miracle Sock adorned walking cast. I swear I saw tears rolling down Bella's face at that point. When I finally answered the phone, Emmett let me know that Mom ordered the pizza and it was scheduled to arrive a few minutes before my session with Bella ended.

I walked back over to Bella after talking with Emmett, and I guess she didn't hear me when I walked up to her because when I said her name she jumped a bit and slipped. Out of pure instinct, my arms wrapped around her, holding her up and keeping her from falling, and it was as if time stood still.

Her hands gripped my arms as I held her to me. We stood there for a moment, just staring at each other. I felt her breathing hitch and watched as her eyes darted momentarily to my lips. My heart was pounding hard against my chest, and I was finally shaken out of my Bella induced haze when she said "Thanks Edward," her voice a breathy whisper. Bella then cleared her throat and blushed as she said "Um, Edward…I think you can let go now…" It was then I realized where my hands were…firmly planted on her ass.

"Oh God…Bella…I'm sorry. I didn't mean…" I trailed off. "It's fine Edward really. It's nice to see a sweet, strong man help out a lady in distress. Makes me think chivalry isn't dead yet," she replied, cutting off my rambling.

We stepped away from each other and focused once more on sorting through all of my things. As I worked, I tries to will my raging hard on away, all the while praying Bella hadn't noticed the wood I was sporting when she was up against me. Just as Mom had promised, a few minutes before we wrapped up for the day, my pizza arrived.

"So um, would you like to uh…to uh maybe stay for dinner Bella?" I asked, my nerves increasing by the second.

"Oh, I…I couldn't impose like that Edward," she replied.

"Impose? It's just a pizza Bella, and more food than just I could eat. I'd like for you to stay…if you want that is."

"Oh…well…sure. Pizza is one of my favorites," she replied, a smile on her face.

We made our way into the kitchen, grabbed some plates, napkins and some drinks from the fridge before sitting down at the breakfast bar and opening up the pizza box. I laughed as Bella squealed happily.

"Mmm, pepperoni….a man after my own heart," she mumbled as she bit into a slice, all the while I couldn't help but think just how true that statement of hers was.

"Well, I don't care what people say about pepperoni being a topping for kids, it's really the only way to eat a pizza," I answered.

She smiled and agreed, and as I picked up a slice of pizza for myself, I couldn't fight my own smile as we launched into easy conversation, getting to know more about each other…even when it came to me talking about my childhood, I found her to be easy to open up to. We drifted into less sad topics as we talked about our respective college experiences.

Before we knew it, the pizza was gone and it was almost 9:00 at night. Bella helped me clean up the mess we made, and gave me a hug before leaving, holding on to me a little longer than usual, as she thanked me for a fun evening.

Heading up to my room for the night, I couldn't help but feel as giddy as a teenage boy who just saw boobs for the first time, and went to bed with a smile on my face, and a new determination to figure out how to make Bella mine.


	23. Chapter 23

I had a really good session with Dr. Brandon today.

I brought up some issues I had swirling in my head, like my realization of how empty my life had become.

"Dr. Brandon…I realized something the last time you and Bella were at my home. I looked around, seeing how empty my house was becoming, and it made me realize how much that was a reflection of my life. I have my family and I have work, but that's it. I have no real friends, I have no hobbies, I have no one special to share my life with. I feel very much like my life has become the manifestation of everything I felt as a child and…and I don't like it. I want it to be different. I want to feel happy and fulfilled…I want people in my life. I'm tired of being alone."

Dr. Brandon sat there, smiling as she looked at me.

"Edward," she started, her voice soft. "I'm very proud of you. What you just told me…that's a huge breakthrough for you to not only realize what your life has become, but to voice it and acknowledge it and want to change it…that is very, very good."

Dr. Brandon's reassurance and pride in what I brought up today, went a long way for boosting my confidence, and made me really feel like I can make the necessary changes in my home and my life so that I can be happy.

We spent the rest of the session delving deeper into the issues I brought up, and in the end, I felt much better about bringing them up and discussing them. It was the first time I really actively brought up issues I was having and voiced my concerns instead of burying them inside myself and compensating with buying things. It felt good.

As the session wound down, Dr. Brandon told me to think about what I had brought up today, and to think about the changes I needed and wanted to make so that I could have the life I wanted, and what things I thought would hold me back from achieving it. We would discuss those things next week.

After I left my session with Dr. Brandon, I headed over to the grocery store to do a bit of shopping since my kitchen was relatively empty. Perhaps I shouldn't have, because as I walked through the produce section, I ran into Bella. She was smiling and happy and laughing…and distinctly close to another man in what seemed to me was almost a romantic embrace.

My heart broke at the sight. It made me thing that everything I was telling myself…that maybe there really was a chance that she felt for me what I felt for her…that it was all wrong, that I was just another client, some poor sap who had issues and that she was just a kind woman who was understanding of everyone and whatever issues they may have.

I was so lost in my thoughts I didn't even see where I was going as I crashed my shopping cart into a display of apples, which much to my dismay, garnered Bella's attention.

She and her man-friend made their way over to me, and I braced myself as she introduced us, waiting for the word…be it husband or boyfriend…that would completely crush me all together…but it never came.

"Edward," Bella said, her voice cheery and a noticeable blush on her face. "This is my cousin Seth. He's a bit of a pervert…he keeps talking about the kinky proclivities of the fruit and vegetables. Apparently the kiwis are into BDSM and the okra likes sex in public."

I couldn't help but bust out laughing, not only from the hilarity of what she said, but out of the relief of knowing this man was family. Bella and I chatted for a few more minutes before she and Seth went on their way, but it was what she whispered in my ear as she walked away that had me giddy and really looking forward to her coming over my house again.

"I'll see you Wednesday Edward," she told me. "And this time, no pizza…I'll take care of dinner this time."

She didn't even give me a chance to respond, just smiled and walked away. I smiled back and nodded, all the while trying to keep my dick under control, her soft whisper and the feel of her breath along my neck driving me wild and causing all sorts of fantasies to fly through my mind. I was definitely looking forward to Wednesday.


	24. Chapter 24

Chopsticks are a wonderful invention.

If I wasn't trying to get my house clean I would buy every pair I could get my hands on.

Perhaps I should clarify myself and start at the beginning…with the simple statement that today was Wednesday.

I was antsy as all hell at work Bella's words from the grocery store the other day constantly playing in my mind.

I think I went through more lotion in the past two days than a woman would in a month. It's a good thing I had bought it in bulk. We'll just pretend like I didn't manage to go through half of the gallon size bottle.

When Bella got to my house today she seemed to be in a very good mood, a smile on her face the entire time we worked…even when we came across all the pairs of Stompies that I had. We laughed as we tried out a few pairs before putting them in the donate pile, with plans to send them to the local children's hospital.

We cleared out the last bit of the cluttered hallways on the first floor, and then the doorbell rang. I went to get it, and that's when Bella stopped me, reminding me how she was treating me to dinner tonight.

She came in a few minutes later with bags of Chinese food. We set everything up in the kitchen and I gave her a dubious look when she handed me chopsticks to eat with.

After I explained how I never could figure out to use them, she tried demonstrating it for me, but it was no use, my food kept ending up on the table, in my lap…everywhere but in my mouth. Then again, I was a bit distracted as I watched Bella eat…the way she put the food in her mouth, and slowly pulled the chopsticks out all the while giving me a look that was positively sinful…yeah, it was hard to concentrate.

Personally, I think the little vixen knew exactly what she was doing.

After my pouting finally got her to stop giggling at my futile attempts to feed myself, she offered to help me.

I damn near stopped breathing as she stood behind me, her arms wrapped around mine as she showed me how to hold the chopsticks.

The way we were positioned her breath was on my neck again, her voice nothing more than a soft whisper. Her hand placed on top of mine as she maneuvered my hands with hers. I could feel her chest pressed up against my back, which only made my cock throb within my pants all the more. Finally, with her guidance, I managed to get ahold of a piece of my food with the damned sticks. She never pulled away as she guided the sticks to my mouth, stopping then in front of my lips as she whispered "Go ahead Edward, have a taste."

I couldn't help myself, as I took the food into my mouth; I let my tongue dart out and lick her fingers, the taste a mixture of her and the food. I moaned at the taste, but it was Bella's moan that caught my attention.

She helped feed me a few more bites, her head resting on my shoulder with the second, and her lips pressing a kiss to my neck before backing away and taking her seat next to me.

She gave me a saucy little smirk and a wink before she continued eating…the erotic innuendo of her chopstick usage not lost on me at all.

After eating, we relaxed and talked more, and before we knew it, it was dark and approaching 10:00.

As I walked Bella to the door, I knew it was now or never, I needed to try and make a move here.

"Bella," I said. "I…I uh…I really like spending time with you and um…well… W-would you maybe want to go out sometime? With me?"

Bella smiled at me, as she answered "I'd love to Edward," before kissing my cheek.

We spoke for a few more minutes before she left, agreeing to make plans to go out the following week. As I locked up the house for the night, I was as giddy as a kid in a candy store, and as I went to bed, thoughts for where I could take Bella on our date were swirling in my head.


	25. Chapter 25

Today was a good day.

I got the okay to get my walking cast removed and now just had to wear an ankle brace, and then of course there was lunch with Mom.

She prodded me about the whole pizza non-date thing, and I let her know it went well. I told her a bit about the next time Bella came over, keeping many of the more  _intimate_  details of it to myself.

She squealed like a teenage girl meeting Justin Bieber when I told her that Bella said yes when I asked her out.

She started rambling on and on about dates and I needed to reel her in before she started planning a wedding and grandbabies.

Once I got her calmed down enough, I asked for her opinion about where I should take her for our date.

Mom told me to tell her about some of what I knew about Bella, so I told her about some of Bella's favorite books, musicians, her taste in food.

Mom agreed with me when I told her I saw Bella as someone who prefers laid back and casual to fancy and black tie. We talked over a few ideas, and that was when I remembered the ad I had seen in the paper a week ago. I knew as soon as I thought of it that it would be perfect for my date with Bella, especially since she was always humming those songs…at least I hoped it would be perfect.

After we finished eating, Mom insisted on taking me shopping for a few new outfits so I'd have something nice to wear for when I took Bella out. I knew it wasn't worth fighting her on it, so I just agreed to go along with it.

Two hours and three new outfits later, I was back at home. I saw some delivery boxes waiting for me, and after checking them to see just which thing it was that I had ordered, I repackaged the two dozen Happy Nappers that I had bought and left them next to the door so I could take them to UPS to return them the following day.

After settling in for the evening, I made the necessary calls to get the tickets I would need for my date with Bella, made arrangements with the restaurant I wanted to take her to, and then dove into some files from work that needed my attention before setting a reminder on my phone for the next day's appointment with Dr. Brandon and heading to bed for the night.


	26. Chapter 26

I was so nervous tonight. I was hoping and praying that everything would work out.

Bella and I had spoken earlier in the week, and I told her I would like to take her out tonight.

I had remembered her mentioning that she enjoyed Greek food, but hadn't found a good place that made any since coming home from college, so I knew I had to take her to one of my favorite restaurants, the Mad Greek Café.

It was a low key, simple place to eat, but the food was amazing, and I thought she might enjoy it. As soon as we pulled up, she was excited about where I had taken her, and for the first time since picking her up, had stopped asking me about what I had planned for the evening.

All I had told her was that we were going to dinner and then somewhere else, and that she should dress comfortably. Apparently Bella wasn't too keen on secrets and surprises and had texted and called about thirty times trying to figure out my plans. Personally, I thought it was adorable.

When I picked her up tonight, I thought she was breathtaking, and I couldn't help but laugh at the fact that we both had on a pair of Chuck's. Walking into the café with her…it was more than I ever thought I'd ever get to have with her, and I couldn't figure out how I ended up being so lucky.

After we placed our orders, mine for the chicken gyro dinner, and Bella for the souvlaki, we relaxed and chatted a bit as we waited for our food to arrive. As dinner progressed, I felt myself falling even more for Bella. I could see a chance at a normal, happy life with her…a family, kids…maybe even a dog or two…but first, I just needed to get through tonight successfully.

Dinner seemed to have gone well; the two of us laughed and talked, and really enjoyed the food. Bella even made me promise to take her there again sometime…which made me excited to know she wanted to go out with me again.

After a short drive we arrived at our location, although Bella had a hard time figuring out where we were since I had made a few phone calls and pulled some strings for us to go through the more discreet VIP entrance.

Leading her inside the building, it finally clicked for her where we were.

"Seriously Edward?" She asked, the excitement rolling off of her.

"Yes Bella, seriously," I replied with a smile, glad to know my choice for the evening was a success.

"But…but how'd you get tickets? Rihanna's been sold out the first day tickets went on sale  _months_  ago."

"You do remember I am one of the more prominent businessmen in the country right? Well, I just placed a few calls and it seems the box office had some tickets available…in the front row."

It's a good thing I have good reflexes because as soon as the words 'front row' were out of my mouth, Bella's shouting "Oh my God!" was nothing compared to her jumping into my arms and hugging me tight.

Not that I'm complaining at all because she quickly followed up that hug with a kiss…a kiss might I add that had several people telling us to get a room.

After that we headed into the arena and made our way to our seats, the both of us with silly, goofy grins on our faces.

The concert was amazing, and I was really glad that Bella had a good time. Although she almost killed me when S & M came on with the way she was dancing against me and grinding her ass into me…little minx that she is knew exactly what she was doing to me. If only she knew about that damn Shake Weight fantasy I still had stuck in my head…I totally had a soundtrack to go with it now.

After the concert, we made our way out of the arena and all too soon for my liking, we were back at Bella's apartment, and I was kissing her goodnight.

It sucked having to leave her, I don't really think either of us wanted to say goodnight, but we knew it eventually had to happen.

As I settled in to bed for the night, I finally realized that it had been over a week since I went on any buying binges. I also realized I had been happier this past week than I could ever remember being…just one more thing I wanted to talk about with Dr. Brandon at our next session. As I tucked that tidbit of information away for later consideration, I drifted off to sleep with images of Bella's dancing floating in my head.


	27. Chapter 27

As much fun as I had been having the past week between planning and then going on my date with Bella, the fact remained that I still had reality to deal with.

Reality in the form of my home, while improving, still being a mess, along with the fact that I knew I still had issues that needed to be worked out in my therapy sessions with Dr. Brandon…which is where I was today…in session with her.

Things were going well. I was communicating a lot, and we were discussing my progress in not having bought anything unnecessarily.

She was proud of my success, but also wanted to look further into it, so I could understand why I wasn't buying anything.

I thought the answer was simple…and told her so.

"It's not hard to figure out Dr. Brandon. I've been happy…happier than I had been in a long time," I explained.

"Yes, I've noticed you've been smiling a lot more and you don't constantly look like someone just ran over your puppy anymore either. But…why are you happy Edward? I'm not trying to say what you're feeling isn't valid or real, but I want you to understand what makes you feel this way, the same way we've been working on what makes you feel sad and like you need to buy something."

Shit…I didn't know if I was ready for bringing up Bella in here…I mean, Dr. Brandon and her were friends. Bella and I had discussed the whole question of "ethics" with us going out on a date, but the reality was…she's not a therapist. She's a professional organizer...there's no doctor/patient issue between us.

"Well…" I started as I tried to figure out my words. "I…I've opened up a lot with my family like you suggested. I've talked about a lot of my past with them and let them in. We've reconnected in a lot of ways, and now I don't feel so alone anymore. And uh…well…I met someone I'm really interested in and… we went on our first date and it went really well."

Dr. Brandon gave me a knowing smirk…and I knew Bella had spoken to her about me and our date.

"Well I'm very glad you've made progress with your family. It's good that you've opened up to them, they care about you and love you, and can be the best support system you will ever have if you let them be.  _And_ …I'm glad you tried and put yourself out there and went on a date. It seems like you're quite the charmer from what I've been told."

I so badly wanted to know what Bella had said about me, but I would never ask Dr. Brandon to break her friend's confidence like that.

"There's no need to blush or be embarrassed Edward," Dr. Brandon told me. I hadn't even realized I was blushing. "Just…just remember to be open and honest about your feelings with Bella. You know she understands about your issues with hoarding, so that's already one conversation out of the way. But if and when the time comes…you need to tell her where the hoarding issues come from and discuss your past with her. I'm not saying you need to do it today, this week, or even this month. Take your time and get comfortable with her. I know you haven't put yourself out there like this in quite some time. But if you think there is a real future between you two, and it's something you want to pursue with her…that's when you will need to open up about everything with her, and if you need help doing it, we can always do that here in a session."

As I left Dr. Brandon's office a short while later, I thought over her words about telling Bella about my past. I knew Dr. Brandon was right, but I was utterly petrified to let Bella know about that part of my life. I still had so much fear of rejection ingrained in me, that I could feel the anxiety creeping up inside me over it, as I imagined her never wanting anything to do with me again once she found out about my childhood.

I was itching so badly to buy something, anything to make the anxiety go away. I turned the tv on to the home shopping channel and watched as the saleslady was going on about the wonders of the Mighty Light that she was trying to sell. I knew the number to call and order by heart and could have easily dialed it in two seconds flat, but then I thought about Bella, and despite my anxiety over bringing up my childhood with her, all I could see was her smile and how happy she was while we were out on our date, and it was enough to remind me that Bella was worth the risk of opening up to her. Grabbing the remote control, I changed the channel on the tv, and fell asleep to the sounds CSI reruns in the background.


	28. Chapter 28

If I had thought that going on a date with Bella would have made her go easier on me in terms of getting my house organized…I was sorely mistaken.

In fact, I think she was a bit harder on me…or maybe just letting me know that just because we had a connection outside of the job she was hired for, I couldn't get away with slacking in regards to getting my house in order.

Case in point…the argument we had as we worked on my living room. I thought it would move the cleanup along faster if I just hired a crew to take all the stuff out of my house and get rid of it. I didn't have many valuable or sentimental things, and those that I did have were easily identifiable. Like my pictures I had on the walls…easy enough for me to tell a cleanup crew not to touch them. Everything else of value was kept locked safely away in my bedroom closet.

Bella didn't like my idea so much.

"Edward," she huffed as she threw more SheWees in our throw away bin. "You need to go through the process of sorting through things…making the decisions about what to keep and what to get rid of."

"I know," I sighed in response. "It's just…it would be so much easier to just get it done over the course of a weekend and not deal with it anymore…you know…like those shows on TLC."

"It may be a quicker solution, but you wouldn't work through all the issues associated with your hoarding that way," Bella explained.

I knew she was right. I just couldn't stop daydreaming about having a real evening with Bella at my home…dinner in the dining room and not the kitchen…curling up on the couch and watching a movie. I wanted to be able to do those things with her, and was getting impatient for the chance.

"Oh come on Bella…you know you'd like it if we had a movie night on the couch…pretend like we're two sixteen year olds sitting in the back of the movie theater…making out instead of watching the movie. You could be the sweet, innocent girl next door while I could be the all too tempting boy looking to corrupt you."

Bella tried, really tried hard to keep a serious look on her face after that.

It didn't work.

"Where do you come up with these ideas Edward?" she asked as she giggled.

"I dunno," I answered, shrugging my shoulders and pulling her close to me so I could kiss her cheek. "Though you have to admit the idea _is_  appealing Bella."

"Oh hush you!" she chucked as she smacked me with one of the many Dream Lite Pillows I had lying around. "Appealing or not, it won't happen until this living room is cleared out."

She made a very valid point.

I made a mental note to talk to Mom, Dad, and Emmett and see if they wanted to come over this weekend and help me get a head start on clearing out more of the rooms.

Bella and I dove back into working on the living room after that, and by the time we finished for the day we had half the room cleared out.

We decided to go out to grab a bite to eat afterwards, Bella's choice this time since I surprised her with the Greek food on our date.

It turned out Bella paid as much attention to me as I did her, because she remembered the name of my favorite burger place from when I went to college.

I hadn't even known they were opening one up in my area, so when we pulled up outside the Steak 'n Shake, I was pretty excited. The place did have the best chocolate milkshakes after all.

I should have known dinner would be a test of my willpower because Bella plus a milkshake equals one of the most positively, erotically sinful things I've ever seen. I swear she kept getting the damn shake on her lips on purpose, and would wait to lick it away until she knew I was watching. It didn't help that her shake was vanilla, and the fact that the word Shake was everywhere I looked…instantly reminding me of Shake Weights…so the whole night through dinner I had that fantasy running through my mind. Add to that seeing that vanilla shake on Bella's lips, and yeah…all I could think of was another white substance that I wanted to have coating her lips.

As we went to pay though, I had a major wake up call. The cashier tried flirting with  _my_  Bella. Not that she acknowledged it in the least. It made me feel a bit better that the more persistent he got, she got closer to me, eventually wrapping her arm around mine. But it did make me realize that Bella and I never really talked about what we were. Were we just dating…were we exclusive…was she my girlfriend…did she want to be? All questions I needed answers to…and soon.


End file.
